‘Fox & Buddies’ Livid ICE Is not Deporting as Many ‘Hoodlums Who Are Nesting Someplace’

President Donald Trump reportedly fell into anger during the 2016 election campaign after his lengthy and sweeping statement on birthright was reduced to something more succinct and coherent.

The Trump campaign wanted Trump to reject the conspiracy theory that launched him en route to the Republican nomination. Instead, according to a new book by Vanity, he dictated a seven-minute diatribe over a conference call against Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama Messe.

“At first the Republican presidential candidate was met with dead silence, and attendees were confused about what the optimal response might be,” wrote the authors of the upcoming Sinking In the Swamp. “Several consultants wanted to tell him that the testimony he was dictating was way, way, way too long and that the campaign was going to be a lot more headache than it was going to solve. If it were made public, it would defeat the purpose of whatever campaigners were trying to accomplish on that front. Yet no one wanted to upset Trump, whose legendary temperament could easily be triggered by the slightest sign of perceived insolence. “

“No campaign official who joined Trump,” the writers wrote, “and each of them gave a pussyfooting version of” This is crazy, why should we? “Add a ‘sir’ or two to be sure.”

Her comments were received with a brief but awkward silence before Trump broke out.

“I want that statement!” roared the candidate. “Get me that damn statement!” I want that goddamn statement now! Where the fuck is it “

Trump hung up and called in his senior communications advisor, Jason Miller, who somehow managed to get the former reality TV star to agree to a brief statement – but signed in his own name, not Trumps.

In return, Trump was allowed to make his own statement during an event held at the Trump International Hotel in Washington, DC – where he eventually did it briefly and some who were insincere believed rejected the birthright.

“At the moment, Trump was bitter and angry, and one day he still itched his long and unalloyed commentary on his past and present,” wrote authors Lachlan Markay and Asawin Suebsaeng. “But barely 24 hours after showing so much anger and depression, he had already begun to forget it and soon moved on. He didn’t bother his staff about it, and he was back to his ‘Crooked Hillary’ and locked them up. “

“In this case, the crisis was only averted because it escaped Trump’s older thoughts,” they wrote. “And that’s it: no batsh * t written explanation.”